Lemming's Cliff

update

noreply@blogger.com (Lemming) — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 21:18:00 +0000

This is for those of you I haven't talked to recently.

I'm still unemployed.

Current prayer request:

My resume is currently on the desks of a couple of hiring managers out in Arizona.

I would really like one of the two jobs.

So if you could be praying for that, I'd really appreciate it.

job searching/update...

noreply@blogger.com (Lemming) — Wed, 29 Jul 2009 17:45:00 +0000

So, for those of you out in internetland who are interested in keeping up and who are praying, here's my latest prayer request on the job front:

I applied for a job on Friday for an Application Developer position, and as such, am studying and reviewing programming type things, which I haven't done in a very long time. I'd forgotten how much I enjoyed this stuff. (It may also help that I'm about 8 years removed from the things that had frustrated me about programming)

So, I would really like this job. Having looked at the values and mission of the institution, I really believe in the things they stand for, and their educational ideology is very similar to things I've been coming to hold to rather strongly over the last year.

So, I guess my prayer request is this:
That they would be gracious enough to look past the "lack of experience" I have of the last 5 years, yet understand the diligence there, and also look at my education. Additionally, that I am able to get to an actual interview stage, and if so, that I will be able to communicate clearly my ability to pick things up in this area very quickly. Furthermore, that I will be able to be diligent in my study, such that by the time the interview would occur, that I will have a reasonable handle on the material which I felt I had insufficient experience of when looking at the original job posting. (Also, a couple of these things they asked about in a few follow up questions they sent me right away)

no new info

noreply@blogger.com (Lemming) — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 20:05:00 +0000

No real information yet. The neurologist recommends a CT scan of my head. Waiting to see what happens next.

hi

noreply@blogger.com (Lemming) — Wed, 27 May 2009 15:40:00 +0000

for those who sort of know what's going on, but aren't completely up to date...

I went in for a physical a week ago Tuesday and they're referring me to a neurologist.

If you want to know more, you know how to get in touch with me.

first result back

noreply@blogger.com (Lemming) — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 15:29:00 +0000

I just got results back on the first job. (the one I wanted)

:(

But that's the way of things. I've just got to keep looking...

update

noreply@blogger.com (Lemming) — Mon, 23 Feb 2009 22:48:00 +0000

I figured that this would be the simplest way to let those of you whom I haven't talked to recently know:

I'm getting laid off at the end of June.

As such I'm in a major job search mode right now.

If you know of any job positions I might be interested in, please let me know. At this point I'm willing to take just about any work that comes my way, so long as it pays my bills (essentially, it has to pay more than what I'm making now, which only barely falls into that category)

Overall, I'm excited to see what God will be doing next, so don't fret too much about me losing this job. I've already been here longer than I had originally anticipated.

prayer

noreply@blogger.com (Lemming) — Mon, 03 Sep 2007 20:14:00 +0000

Saturday night my grandfather passed away.

Sunday morning when my grandmother got up to call my grandfather's brother and his wife to let them know, she fell and broke her hip. Apparently it was a really bad break, but it will be at least 3 days before they can operate due to that she has a slight case of pneumonia, and due to that the levels of the blood thinner she's on are too high. It's also possible she had a heart attack from all of the stress yesterday. Apparently, she's not any worse today, which is a good sign. Pray that she continues to improve.

Also, apparently a week ago a friend of mine was hit by a truck. He was rear ended while riding his bike. He said he got a little scraped up, but is fine other than that he still is in pain from the accident.

update

noreply@blogger.com (Lemming) — Wed, 13 Jun 2007 02:28:00 +0000

I suppose I should give you all an update...

I've been reading a lot lately.

As of this afternoon, I just finished reading the Miles Vorkosigan series by Bujold.
I rather enjoyed the series.
That's pretty much been taking up my time the last week and a half or two. That, and I was sick over the weekend, so I'm recovering from that still.

I got my first exposure to Windows Vista this afternoon. My first impression was that it was rather spiffy, then I went and did my second check, which has to do with how the computer handles switching back and forth between mirrored/paralleled displays and dual monitor. This has been a problem that has given me grief with our XP machines at work, which I actually figured out how to solve a couple of weeks ago. Now I suppose that on some level, I had known how to fix it all along with XP, but it never really registered to me that the system would be that inane in its requirement to fix it. To put it simply, the OS and the graphics card don't speak to each other very well most of the time, so though you'd think you'd be able to fix it with the XP's interface for solving the problem, it doesn't actually work. You have to find the interface for the graphics card to actually fix it.
With Vista, I've found the problem even worse so far. (BTW, I'm using Enterprise edition if anyone cares) Not only is the OS interface identical to what XP has, and responds the same way, I have yet to be able to find the equivalent interface for the graphics card in Vista. Now, a couple of things that were initially in Vista's favor. It automatically notices when you connect the Laptop to a Projector or external monitor. When you first do this it asks you how you want to set up your displays. This was actually rather nice. The problem occurred when I told the system later to switch from mirrored to dual and then back to mirrored. If I find the solution I'll probably post it later.

I probably have several other things I could talk about, but I'll save them for later.

noreply@blogger.com (Lemming) — Sat, 07 Apr 2007 03:56:00 +0000

Amazing Love!
How can it be, that Thou, my God, shouldst die for me.

Camping!

noreply@blogger.com (Lemming) — Thu, 08 Jun 2006 22:36:00 +0000

I'm going camping this weekend!
It's time for the annual camping trip.

I'm looking forward to it.

1 year ago today...

noreply@blogger.com (Lemming) — Thu, 08 Jun 2006 22:23:00 +0000

Things were beginning to look up. Things were starting to go well. I thought I saw a glimpse of where I was supposed to beheading with my life.

Here I am a year later...broke, unhappy, and alone.

Maybe it's because I forgot something important along the way. Maybe...well, it's not worth speculating too much. I'm here now, things will work out to the glory of God. If I don't know anything else anymore, the one thing I know is this:
God is good. He loves us. He will be glorified.

BTW. My sister arrived safely 2 weeks ago.

Who do I want to be...

noreply@blogger.com (Lemming) — Thu, 11 May 2006 01:29:00 +0000

This post comes from a conversation I was having with a couple of roommates of mine a little while back. (note: some of this is modified since enough time has passed that I can't remember the specifics)

The way things could be, or ought to be, or where we want to be, are all nonexistant states. Goal setting can be done, but only for the purpose of determining how to get there. As far as we are concerned, the here and now is all that actually exists. It is the only localle we can actually operate in. Who we are now, and what we do now is all that really exists. We can strive to become other than we are now, but we need to act as we wish to be.

It wasn't until more recently that I began to realize how much I needed to pay attention to this myself. The topic of discussion with the Bible study I'm in is starting to drive this home as well.

Something I need to take to heart...

noreply@blogger.com (Lemming) — Thu, 11 May 2006 01:21:00 +0000

It's about what we do. That is, as opposed to why we do what we do.
Especially for those of us who spend way too much time in the abstract.

Previously I have been of the opinion that why we do things is as much a determination on the morality of something as to what the action itself is.

I'm starting to modify my position on that.

I'd now have to say that primarily only applies when you're dealing with actions that would generally be considered "good."

If something is generally neutral, or stupid, the action itself is the issue.

Note: when I'm refering to action here, I'm using "action" in a broader sense. Action here would consist of not just deeds, but also what we say and what thoughts we hold. To caveat further, when referencing thought, I'm not really talking about fleeting thoughts that are held momentarily and then are dismissed. I'm generally refering to things that are mentally held onto. But then, thought is a lot harder to categorize in this way. But then, held thoughts and beliefs do have a way of coming out into the open via either word or deed, so as such shouldn't be a part of the larger discussion other than to briefly mention that they need to be controlled just as what we say and what we do also need control.

Something I've been thinking about...

noreply@blogger.com (Lemming) — Sun, 16 Apr 2006 03:25:00 +0000

We came to this passage several weeks ago in Bible study, and I found it very poignant. Especially when you look at the context...

This was grabbed from NASB translation, specifically using The Unbound Bible.

Hebrews 12:12-15

Therefore, strengthen the hands that are weak and the knees that are feeble, and make straight paths for your feet, so that the limb which is lame may not be put out of joint, but rather be healed. Pursue peace with all men, and the sanctification without which no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one comes short of the grace of God; that no root of bitterness springing up causes trouble, and by it many be defiled;

Things change...

noreply@blogger.com (Lemming) — Tue, 04 Apr 2006 02:50:00 +0000

If you haven't caught Beautiful's blog since yesterday, I'll post the pertinant info here.

As of Saturday evening, she and I are no longer dating/engaged. We're still friends, though, which I'm glad of. If I'd lost her as a friend, that would have hurt me more than I probably could have handled.

So, I'm glad we're actually able to talk again.

And to respect the comment she made on her blog, I won't post anything more.

thoughts

noreply@blogger.com (Lemming) — Sun, 26 Mar 2006 18:42:00 +0000

So, I've been having to think about a lot of things lately, especially considering a couple of things that have happened. Also, a couple of these were given as things to think about at the Bible study I go to on Saturday mornings with a group of guys. (And when I say morning, I mean early morning)

Yes, finally after a long period of time, (long enough that I've lost track) I'm in a Bible study in which I'm being challenged. I've actually been going for almost 2 months, but then I've been a little busy in that time frame and we've finally gotten moving with it again. (several of us at various points in the last month or so have had schedule conflicts-to put it mildly)

So I'm actually being challenged mentally and spiritually, which I've needed for a long time, and I've been looking for. And I trust them. They have just enough detachment from who I am and who I've made myself out to be over the years that I don't have any emotional investment in the image of myself I've made.

So, the questions that were posed two Saturdays ago to make us think about what is truely important:

If you knew you were going to lose your sight, what would you want to focus on so that it would stick in your memory?

The second question was the same but in relation to sound.

To give you an idea of the general response:
The first one people were making reference to Yosemite Valley.
The second one people were referencing a specific piece by Bach (I think) that is several hours long.

I can't respond to the second one. I don't have an answer to it. I'm pretty sure that absolute silence would drive me crazy. I like background noise in general. Well, to be more specific, it's not that I like it per se, I like that it exists. It provides a certain level of comfort.

I'm off

noreply@blogger.com (Lemming) — Sat, 18 Feb 2006 15:53:00 +0000

I fly out around noon. Have a good week everyone. Have fun, be good. I realize some of you might think those can be contradictory, but it doesn't have to be. I mean, I'll be doing something good, and will hopefully have fun while I'm at it.

Remember, be careful to watch your step when playing around here. You can lookat the scenery, but don't jump off while I'm away, please?

There are no lifeguards on duty. Not that cliffs have lifeguards, mind you. I just thought it was an apt comparison.

16 days and counting

noreply@blogger.com (Lemming) — Thu, 02 Feb 2006 01:17:00 +0000

Sorry for not posting for a while. I was a bit preoccupied for a little while, and then time just got away from me...
But that's not really much of an excuse, but I'll leave it at that anyway.

So in 16 days (February 18th) I'll be traveling. I'll be gone for a week.

Another aside:
Last Friday was my Birthday!
Beautiful called, which made my day! It was the one thing I really wanted. (given things in the realm of moderate probability) I didn't know if she'd be able to due that she'd been out in the field, and we weren't sure what day they'd be getting back in. It turns out they'd gotten back in that morning. Also, she didn't realized that it was my birthday. She'd thought it was on Wednesday. (probably due to that I turned 25 this year)

Long Weekend

noreply@blogger.com (Lemming) — Mon, 19 Dec 2005 22:29:00 +0000

First of all, It's good to have Beautiful back in the area.

Starting Friday: I clocked in 9.5 hours with work. however, that all occured during a 12 hour period. (lunch break and another break) That's what happens when you're the only one who is available to tech (babysit) a projector in the overflow location for graduation. Also, the break was primarily worked due to that it allowed me to go to at least the beginning of a graduation party for Dan and Deb. I then went back to the party after I got done working, just in time to catch a third to half the people before they left. (considering I got back just as the party was technically over) I then proceeded to stay until after 1:30 am. At which point I realized that I was probably going to get a call from Beautiful at either 6:30 or 7 in the morning, due to that around that time she'd probably be heading to the airport. I was only slightly off on my realization. Actually, she sent me a text message at 6 am. I sent a response then went back to sleep. Next thing I know, it's about 10:50 am and I've got another text message. She's on the plane getting waiting for take-off. I get up, get ready, and start doing some more cleaning. (I'd already done some cleaning during week) I get my things together, make a quick stop at the store and pick up some roses and a couple of other things, after which, I grabbed a quick lunch. After eating, I filled up my gas tank, then headedd to the airport, just in case there was traffic. which there wasn't. Also, her plane ended up being about a half hour late, so even with leaving almost an hour later than I wanted to, I ended up at the airport over 2 hours before I needed to be there, which I didn't mind due to that I was able to get some reading done. So, I ended up finishing one of the books I've been reading. (The Book of Five Rings, by Miyamoto Musashi-I'll probably talk about it at some later time) After I finished that, I got back to working through Unapologetic Apologetics. Beautiful called after her plane touched down, we then made a brief stop at my place. (I had left my bag for the weekend, and Beautiful wanted to rest for a little bit) We then went to dinner. After that we made a brief shopping trip in order to get her something to wear to church. (which took longer than we would have liked) Finally we then headed out to her parents. By this point Beautiful had been up over 20 hours. (provided you don't count the short naps-sleeping in cars twice, as well as some napping on the plane) Everone crashed soon after our arrival. On Sunday, we had breakfast, went to church, and then went to lunch with a absolutely wonderful and darling older lady from her church named Amy. (this had been scheduled in advance) The three of us had a wonderful time. (we probably spent between 2-3 hours at lunch) Later that afternoon, Beautiful, her parents, and myself went to an open house someone was holding. The situation was tolerable, and I was able to let the situation wash over me, though I'm pretty sure that most of us would have rather been elsewhere. After this we went and got dinner, then started to play episodes of Babylon 5 season 1. (Which her mom is currently just about finished with-she'll probably be done tonight) Eventually people started to get tired, so I headed home due to having work this morning.
Anyway, that was my weekend.
Like I said, it's good to have Beautiful back. Her presence has been greatly missed.

confession/realization

noreply@blogger.com (Lemming) — Thu, 27 Oct 2005 05:36:00 +0000

I feel that I need to put this out there.

I've been arrogant about a particular issue for a while now. That is, I was until a couple of weeks ago, anyway. Or more specifically, I didn't realize that I'd been arrogant until then. The arrogance caused a certain amount of fear in my life. At this point, I suppose I'm not making much sense, so I'll clarify.

It all started with my belief in the efficacy of prayer. I have a very high view of prayer. I believe that prayer is very powerful, because God is powerful. We pray because it draws us closer to God. It is an outpouring of ourselves, from a certain perspective, you might even call it a sacrifice of ourselves, due to that we lay our hearts before God: all our desires, insecurities, etc. before His throne.

The next factor is due to that I believe God answers prayer. I've seen God answer prayer too many times to doubt that he answers.

My problem was that I forgot that God will answer no at times. I had forgotten that He will answer as he so chooses. I had begun to believe the lie that He would always answer the way I wanted Him to. Now, knowing that I'm fallible, I know that my desires aren't always correct.

This led me to fear that I would pray for the wrong thing. As a result, it debilitated my prayer life. I stopped praying for things with strength and conviction unless I was conviced I was praying correctly. As a result, my prayers either became mostly internal, or really vague, lacking in conviction.

This changed a couple of weeks ago. I had a prayer request which I passed through my prayer network. (or part of my network; I didn't have the time to spread it personally through the entire network, and due to the nature of the request, didn't want to broadcast it in thid forum) I was utterly convinced at the time, that what I was asking for was the best possible solution to the problem I feared I might have to face. I was wrong, and God said no. As soon as I realized that God had denied my request, especially after the dilemma came and went without any real difficulty or trauma, it was as though a weight had been lifted off my shoulders.
It was at this point the fear just went away, never to be seen again. Immediately after the fear went away, I realized my arrogance, and repented.

I write this primarily because I feel that I need to be accountable for my thoughts and actions. I also feel that I should admit my mistakes. Hopefully someone will learn from them and not repeat them. Don't be afraid to pray with passion and conviction. Remember, God is smarter than we are, He can always say no, or He might even say "not right now, but maybe later."

God never ceases to amaze me.

Since other people have, I might as well

noreply@blogger.com (Lemming) — Tue, 25 Oct 2005 00:14:00 +0000

I meant to do this a while ago, then accidentally deleted it before I could post it.

another post of confessions
X your confessions

[ ] I am bisexual
[ ] I am homosexual
[ ] I've run away from home
[ ] I listen to political music. (not intentionally)
[x] I collect comic books. (I wouldn't consider myself a collector, though)
[x] I shut others out when I'm sad (until I figure out that I'm depressed, then I go find certain people to help me stop being depressed)
[ ] I open up to others easily
[x] I am keeping a secret from the world (technically-everyone has secrets, they just don't necessarily realize it)
[ ] I watch the news
[ ] I own over 5 rap CDs
[ ] I own something from Hot Topic
[ ] I love Disney movies
[x] I am a sucker for hair/eyes (mmm)
[ ] I don't kill bugs (they must die)
[x] I curse regularly. (define regularly. More like poignantly than regularly, though)
[ ] I have "x"s in my screen name.
[x] just to be funny I've slipped out a "lol" in a real conversation (only once or twice-it isn't really all that funny)
[ ] I love Spam (ick)
[ ] I bake well (I haven't tried in a while)
[ ] I would wear pajamas to school (too self conscious for that)
[x] I have a job (I need a new one, though)
[ ] I love Martha Stewart.
[x] I am in love with/like someone. (obviously. If you didn't know this, you obviously haven't read my blog)
[ ] I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS (too much effort required)
[x] I am self conscious. (only slightly, though)
[x] I like to laugh. (don't make me, though. I'd rather not hyperventilate)
[ ] I smoke.
[ ] I loved Go Ask Alice. (what?)
[x] I have cough drops when I'm not sick. (on occasion)
[ ] I can't swallow pills.
[ ] I have many scars (only one, though most people can't see it unless I'm stressed out)
[x] I've been out of this country
[x] I believe in ghosts (depends on what you mean).
[ ] I can't sleep if there is a spider in the room (with where I live, I'd never be able to get to sleep-if I see it, I'll kill it though)
[x] I am really ticklish
[x] I love chocolate (most of my family are chocoholics).
[ ] I bite my nails
[x] I am comfortable with being me (to a certain extent)
[x] I play computer games/video games when I'm bored (who needs to be bored to do that?)
[x] Gotten lost in the city
[x] Saw a shooting star.
[ ] I had a serious Surgery. (sorry, only a minor surgery here)
[ ] Gone out in public in your pajamas
[ ] I have kissed a stranger.
[x] Hugged a stranger. (certain church settings make this inevitable)
[x] been in a fist fight with the same sex. (not since Jr. High)
[ ] Been arrested.
[x] Laughed and had milk/soda come out of your nose
[x] Pushed all the buttons on an elevator (unless you count the emergency buttons)
[ ] Made out in an elevator (That could be interesting...)
[ ] Swore at your parents. (not at them, but I have in their presence)
[ ] Kicked a guy where it hurts. (If I have, I don't remember)
[ ] Been skydiving
[ ] Been bungee jumping.
[ ] Broken a bone.
[ ] Played spin the bottle.
[x] Gotten stitches (see my comment on surgery)
[ ] Drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour (ugh...can feel sinuses clogging just thinking about it)
[x] Bitten someone (probably, though I can't remember a particular instance)
[ ] Been to Niagara Falls.
[x] Gotten the chicken pox.
[x] Crashed into a car (twice-minor crashes though. the car still runs fine)
[ ] Been to Japan
[x] Ridden in a taxi. (I couldn't have said that 2 weeks ago)
[ ] Shoplifted.
[ ] Been fired. (let go, but not fired-they'd rehire me if they had a need for personnel)
[x] had feelings for someone who didn't have them back
[ ] Stole something from your job.
[ ] Gone on a blind date. (I suppose technically I have-the joys of Dorm events in college)
[ ] Had a crush on a teacher/coach.
[ ] Celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
[ ] Been to Europe. (My sister wants me to meet up with her in Prague at some point, though)
[ ] Slept with a co-worker.
[ ] Been married
[ ] Gotten divorced.
[x] Saw someone/something dying (if you count bugs)
[x] Driven over 400 miles in one day
[ ] Been to Canada.
[x] Been on a plane.
[ ]Seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
[ ] Thrown up in a bar. (outside of one, though not due to alcohol-I didn't drink that night)
[ ] Eaten Sushi (ick)
[x] Been snowboarding.
[x] Been skiing. (I think: if so, water-single ski)
[x] Been ice skating.
[x] Met someone in person from the internet (I suppose technically)
[x]Going to or have gone to college.
[ ] Done drugs
[x] Taken painkillers
[ ] Cheated on someone else (why would I want to? I've seen the consequences)
[ ] Had sex with more than one person.
[ ] Thought about suicide
[ ] Feared for your life because of another
[ ] Been hurt so bad you'll never forget the pain (the memory of the pain usually fades)
[ ] Wished somebody would die (I think I briefly thought about it, then I considered the ramifications, and decided it was a bad desire)
[ ] Lied to your girlfriend/boyfriend (At times I haven't disclosed some information, but I've never lied to her)

Back from trip

noreply@blogger.com (Lemming) — Tue, 18 Oct 2005 00:25:00 +0000

My trip went well. Other than being delayed to the point of staying overnight in an airport and arriving over 12 hours after I was supposed to.
I went to see Beautiful graduate from basic training in the army. (She didn't know I was coming until a little while before I got there)
She's definately lost a lot of weight, and put on quite a bit of muscle.
She's doing quite well.

travel

noreply@blogger.com (Lemming) — Wed, 12 Oct 2005 03:52:00 +0000

I'm going on a trip for a few days and will be leaving first thing in the morning.

Pray for safe travels, etc.

(Pray very hard for the etc. I'm not going to post that here. If you want to know, a few influential people in my life know, as well as one or two others. If you know where I'm going, and don't know this request, you should be able to figure out who I've told. Ask them, or ask me, but the need for the prayer will probably be over by the time I get back to you, unless you call me-though my phone will only be intermitantly on until tomorrow evening)

Irony

noreply@blogger.com (Lemming) — Mon, 19 Sep 2005 19:00:00 +0000

For those who've diologued with me at any real length, you know what my stance regarding the idea of goodness, truth, and beauty. For those who don't know I'm going to relate it here. In case you get upset on what my position has been, remember the title of this post.

For quite a while now, I've been rather upset regarding how some groups I've run into seem to regard the concepts of goodness, truth, and beauty. The way the phrase has been put forward, it presents itself as though all three are equal partners in the grand scheme of things. Now, those I've run into might argue that the three are neot necessarily equal, but based on their actions and how they have portrayed other, related concepts, tells me that they view all three as equal members of a greater whole. The main problem that I have found with this view is that while the first two can be shown to be objective, I have yet to see a valid presentation in which the third is also presentable as being objective. That is not to say that the existance of beauty isn't objective. By all means I would agree that objectively, beauty does exist. However, our understanding of beauty is rather subjective due to that it is based soley on sensory perception. Based on this analysis, I came to the conclusion that Beauty, as a concept does not belong with the other two members of the presented triage.

Based on this conclusion, I decided a long time ago that I would leave the search for beauty on the wayside, and ignore it completely. Now, there are several other reasons for this as well. Some of those are also why I technically view myself as an iconoclast. I have held the view that imagery can be dangerous. It like many other things can lead to idolatry. Now, to caveat what I just said, I don't think its necessarily wrong for images to be used in worshop, etc. I, however, view that it can be dangerous to do so. It mainly depends on how an indiviual views them, as well as how they are used. I have a similar view on symbols in general, as well as corresponding view regarding rituals. Regarding being an iconoclast, I'll paraphrase CS Lewis. God is the great iconoclast. He is continually shattering our perceptions of who He is. Anyway, my main issues regarding symbols is that they are particularly dangerous for me. I am a highly visual and sensory person. I am also relatively mathematical and analytical as well. As a result, things I sense, perticularly the things I see, stay with me for a ratther long time. This means that I am particularly vulnerable to making lasting associations between things. Essentially, repetative use of nonessential sensory input (namely iconographic imagery) in worship could lead me to overassociate with the image, in my mind, instead of the focusing on the actual, which is invisible. (Similar could be said regarding other types of symbols, along with rituals) (when I'm referencing rituals, my primary thought is: does it have to be done that way? If the answer is emphatically yes, then I consider it a problematic ritual.)

Anyway, in my intellectual and philosophic journey, as I said before, I left the concept of beauty by the wayside as being unessential, due to its lack of objectivity, in favor of the other two, goodness and truth. In all honesty, I haven't been traveling on this journey as much as I should be. I have been known to take semiregular breaks in this journey, though I have kept moving. One problem I've had over the years is that I haven't sought God as rigorously as I should in the journey that is my life. I'm probably a little too casual in the ways I've dealt with these matters over the years, and I should probably work at changing that.

Anyway, I just went off on yet another tangent...

So, I left the search for beauty behind me in favor of goodness and truth. Against all odds, it appears that beauty, or more specifically, Beautiful, has been left in my care. Note the irony: I stopped looking for beauty, and one who is beautiful, loves me and I love her. The thought nearly brings me to tears. Also, her current absence does the same thing, but before she left, the thought that I had been given what I never asked for, leaves me in awe. Anyway, there are lots of things that are either ironic, startling, or thought provoking regarding this relationship, most of which I'm not going to discuss in a public forum. And I'm definitely not going to talk about them with other people until I've talked with her about them.

Anyway, I hope I didn't offend too many people in some of what I said. But I'm relating my journey, and as I'm still on said journey, I hope you'll give me a lttle grace.

cloud 9

noreply@blogger.com (Lemming) — Mon, 19 Sep 2005 04:00:00 +0000

Beautiful called me this morning, and we talked for about 15 minutes. So, I've been highly emotional all day. On the one hand, hearing from her made my day, and I wouldn't give up having been able to talk to her for anything. On the other hand, I'm missing her terribly right now. But then, I miss her all the time, so the only difference is the severity of how much I miss her.

An a slightly related note, she's a little annoyed with me, due to that I still haven't gotten pictures of me to her, which I'm working on and if I haven't gotten them mailed by mid-week, kick me for her, because I will deserve it if I haven't gotten them sent at that point. (If I actually had prints of myself, I'd say kick me Tuesday if I haven't gotten them sent by tomorrow. But since I don't actually have prints yet, there's no way I'll be able to send them tomorrow)

Regarding my health: I've been feeling much better since I last posted. I'm still going to be taking it easy, though, due to that it's not worth the risk of getting worse. I know two major horror stories regarding mono, and they're both really scary.

I think I'm going to go ahead and post the previosly mentioned "Irony" post. If things work the way I think/hope they should, it should show up sometime tomorrow. (otherwise, it'll show up tonight)