Lemming's Cliff

My edge of the world

Monday, September 19, 2005

Irony

For those who've diologued with me at any real length, you know what my stance regarding the idea of goodness, truth, and beauty. For those who don't know I'm going to relate it here. In case you get upset on what my position has been, remember the title of this post.

For quite a while now, I've been rather upset regarding how some groups I've run into seem to regard the concepts of goodness, truth, and beauty. The way the phrase has been put forward, it presents itself as though all three are equal partners in the grand scheme of things. Now, those I've run into might argue that the three are neot necessarily equal, but based on their actions and how they have portrayed other, related concepts, tells me that they view all three as equal members of a greater whole. The main problem that I have found with this view is that while the first two can be shown to be objective, I have yet to see a valid presentation in which the third is also presentable as being objective. That is not to say that the existance of beauty isn't objective. By all means I would agree that objectively, beauty does exist. However, our understanding of beauty is rather subjective due to that it is based soley on sensory perception. Based on this analysis, I came to the conclusion that Beauty, as a concept does not belong with the other two members of the presented triage.

Based on this conclusion, I decided a long time ago that I would leave the search for beauty on the wayside, and ignore it completely. Now, there are several other reasons for this as well. Some of those are also why I technically view myself as an iconoclast. I have held the view that imagery can be dangerous. It like many other things can lead to idolatry. Now, to caveat what I just said, I don't think its necessarily wrong for images to be used in worshop, etc. I, however, view that it can be dangerous to do so. It mainly depends on how an indiviual views them, as well as how they are used. I have a similar view on symbols in general, as well as corresponding view regarding rituals. Regarding being an iconoclast, I'll paraphrase CS Lewis. God is the great iconoclast. He is continually shattering our perceptions of who He is. Anyway, my main issues regarding symbols is that they are particularly dangerous for me. I am a highly visual and sensory person. I am also relatively mathematical and analytical as well. As a result, things I sense, perticularly the things I see, stay with me for a ratther long time. This means that I am particularly vulnerable to making lasting associations between things. Essentially, repetative use of nonessential sensory input (namely iconographic imagery) in worship could lead me to overassociate with the image, in my mind, instead of the focusing on the actual, which is invisible. (Similar could be said regarding other types of symbols, along with rituals) (when I'm referencing rituals, my primary thought is: does it have to be done that way? If the answer is emphatically yes, then I consider it a problematic ritual.)

Anyway, in my intellectual and philosophic journey, as I said before, I left the concept of beauty by the wayside as being unessential, due to its lack of objectivity, in favor of the other two, goodness and truth. In all honesty, I haven't been traveling on this journey as much as I should be. I have been known to take semiregular breaks in this journey, though I have kept moving. One problem I've had over the years is that I haven't sought God as rigorously as I should in the journey that is my life. I'm probably a little too casual in the ways I've dealt with these matters over the years, and I should probably work at changing that.

Anyway, I just went off on yet another tangent...

So, I left the search for beauty behind me in favor of goodness and truth. Against all odds, it appears that beauty, or more specifically, Beautiful, has been left in my care. Note the irony: I stopped looking for beauty, and one who is beautiful, loves me and I love her. The thought nearly brings me to tears. Also, her current absence does the same thing, but before she left, the thought that I had been given what I never asked for, leaves me in awe. Anyway, there are lots of things that are either ironic, startling, or thought provoking regarding this relationship, most of which I'm not going to discuss in a public forum. And I'm definitely not going to talk about them with other people until I've talked with her about them.

Anyway, I hope I didn't offend too many people in some of what I said. But I'm relating my journey, and as I'm still on said journey, I hope you'll give me a lttle grace.

Sunday, September 18, 2005

cloud 9

Beautiful called me this morning, and we talked for about 15 minutes. So, I've been highly emotional all day. On the one hand, hearing from her made my day, and I wouldn't give up having been able to talk to her for anything. On the other hand, I'm missing her terribly right now. But then, I miss her all the time, so the only difference is the severity of how much I miss her.

An a slightly related note, she's a little annoyed with me, due to that I still haven't gotten pictures of me to her, which I'm working on and if I haven't gotten them mailed by mid-week, kick me for her, because I will deserve it if I haven't gotten them sent at that point. (If I actually had prints of myself, I'd say kick me Tuesday if I haven't gotten them sent by tomorrow. But since I don't actually have prints yet, there's no way I'll be able to send them tomorrow)

Regarding my health: I've been feeling much better since I last posted. I'm still going to be taking it easy, though, due to that it's not worth the risk of getting worse. I know two major horror stories regarding mono, and they're both really scary.

I think I'm going to go ahead and post the previosly mentioned "Irony" post. If things work the way I think/hope they should, it should show up sometime tomorrow. (otherwise, it'll show up tonight)

Thursday, September 15, 2005

more on being sick

Well, I'm over the strep throat at this point. The thing is that when I went back to the doctor two weeks ago, because I had started to feel worse again after the penicillin ran out, in addition to prescribing another antibiotic, they also took a throat culture and did a blood test for mono. Fast forward to a week ago Tuesday. While I'm at work, they call to tell me that I have mono. Anyway, as a result, I'm trying to get a lot of rest, which means that it cuts into my time for doing other things. This means I'm having to prioritize what all I want to do, which means certain things occur less frequently, such as posting here. Between trying to rest more, and that I've committed to working on something for a group of people, it means I've also had less time to write to Beautiful than I'd like. This is even more annoying due to that she's actually found time to write me a few times recently. I suppose that even with the reduction in my writing, I'm still getting more sent to her than she is to me, but I can feel the difference in that early on, I was probably getting several things written per week, (even though I wasn't able to send anything at the time) whereas now, I'm getting maybe one written a week, or if I end up writing more than one in a week, it may be over a week before I write the next one.